Living For Myself Again.

I told myself I would move on and stop giving you chances, because you took every opportunity and found more ways to break my heart just a little bit more each time.

I used to think you didn’t mean to be the way you were to me, but as more time passed, I realized that sadly, you meant all the mean things you said and how poorly you treated me, and I’m not okay with that.

When you love someone, you should always put their needs before your own, and that’s something you never did.

If it wasn’t about you, you weren’t interested and that just makes me sad.

Sad for you, more than anything, because I don’t think you’ll ever know how beautiful love can truly be when you put someone else first.

You would make excuses and rationalize everything you said or did, and now, your words just fall on my dear ears.

I know that we aren’t meant to be and I’ve known it for some time, but my heart is battling my head and it’s a fierce competition.

I know what’s best for me and that’s to part ways, but my heart keeps whispering to try again.
I just can’t.

I’ve given so much of myself, my time and my heart to you that I just don’t have anything left, you almost destroyed me.

I need to start living for myself again, because my time with you has slowly shredded my heart and soul into little pieces.

Every day, I find that the thought of leaving you hurts a little less, and I know, deep down, there will come a day very soon that I don’t have any more feelings left for you.

It’s hard leaving behind a life with someone you’ve led for so long, but I have to make a choice to find my way back to myself and happiness, because I’ll never find that with you.

I used to dream of a life with you, but you never seemed to care like I did, and now I know it’s because you’re not ready for real and lasting love.

So, I’m taking my emotional baggage and going my own way. And I know you’ll blame it all on me and my selfishness, and that’s fine.

I don’t owe you an explanation and I don’t care anymore what you think, because it’s a broken record of blame, anger and finger pointing, just never at yourself.

So, you can keep your negativity, hate and irrational behavior, I’m leaving you and all that in my past.

Maybe I’ll struggle, maybe I’ll fall.

But at least I’ll do it for myself, and that, for now, makes me happy.

Finally free to make my own choices and live my own life.

I can’t wait to find my joy again, just the way I’ve always deserved.