Doing It My Way.

I looked in the mirror and exhaled deeply.

It had taken me a long time to get to this point…blood, sweat and tears?

No, so much more than that.

I’d been beaten down, dragged through the mud and thrown into the fire, and that was just the start.

I made the classic mistakes of giving my heart to all the wrong people in all the wrong ways and every one of those broken roads cut me a little deeper and taught me a little more about who I was, where I’d been and what I wanted.

Sure, I hated having my heart broken time and again, but I would never change a thing about all the wrong turns I’d made.

They led me to exactly where I was meant to be…standing here, in front of the mirror, beginning to recognize a person I had lost a long time ago…me!

I thought by forging an identity in the people I loved and losing myself in them, I’d be happier and the love would be stronger, and it never was.

That’s not the way love works, I learned.

Real and lasting love doesn’t ask a person to change into something other than who they are, and I’ve finally started making my way back to myself, where I never should have left to begin with.

It’s been a long journey full of bumps and bruises, falls and failures, but I’m finally starting to recognize the person I’ve been trying to find and love for way too long.

Smiling, I pulled my hair back and swiveled my hips into a fun pose.

“Girl, you’ve been gone way too long! Let’s never do that again,” I laughed loudly and beamed.

Sometimes, you gotta go through the hard times, try to love the wrong people and learn the difficult lessons to find your way.

It’s been hard, it’s been painful, it’s been full of sadness, but it’s all been worth it.

I’m on my way home to better, stronger, happier version of myself, and it’s a great feeling.

I’m turning my pain into power, my struggles into my strength and most of all, my lessons into reasons, that deep down, I needed to turn my setback into my comeback…wiser, stronger and with a deeper love of myself than I’ve ever known.

I took one last look in the mirror, grinning broadly.

“I sure did miss you, girl. Let’s go remind them world why you’re amazing.”

And with a wink and a laugh, I kept moving forward on my journey…this time, I’m doing it my way.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

It All Starts With You.

It doesn’t matter what they said about you, the names they called you or their judgement of you.

They never knew the real you, and that’s their loss for not taking the time to try.

I know the words hurt and the memory of the pain still sears your heart, but you have to realize that the only opinion about you that matters is yours.

The people pointing fingers, putting you down and trying to hurt you are just trying to ignore their own problems and shortcomings.

Let them go.

The love stories that didn’t work out were never meant for you, because someone and something better is waiting for you.

I’m not saying it’ll be easy or that you’ll forget it all quickly, but the moment you start confronting the pain and banishing it to a place where it can’t hurt you is the first step to healing…and freedom.

How do I know?

I’ve traveled that long road of learning to love myself and I’m waiting for you along the way, hand outstretched.

You’re not alone and you never will be, again.
It’s easy to believe the negativity of others and forget to listen to your own soul whispering to you.

You’ve let the world stamp out your magic and take away your voice.

Stop and take a deep breath.

Feel the wind blowing, hear the birds chirping and see the beauty of the world all around you.

It’s time for you to start remembering who you are and the dreams you had, and stop listening to the world and who it thinks you should be.

They don’t know where you’ve been and the fires you’ve had to walk through, so they don’t get to tell you anything about you.

Only you have that right.

So, tell yourself that you’re a fighter because you’re strong.

Tell yourself you’re beautiful because your soul is deep and your heart is amazing.

Most of all, tell yourself every day that you’re worthy of love, you’re more than enough and that you deserve the best.

Day by day and little by little, find a way to start believing in yourself, your dreams and that you can do anything.

Maybe it won’t happen overnight, but you’ll get there when you’re meant to.

Promise yourself one thing, starting today:
You’re never going to give up or stop believing, and with hope in your heart and fire in your spirit, you’ll move mountains you never even thought you could climb.

It all starts with you.

And now, more than ever, you got this!

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Give Me Your Mondays.

I know that I’m always going to have days that feel like a Monday.

Where I don’t have the energy, the patience or the strength to tackle all the nonsense of life.

When all the ugly moments seem to happen all at once, too much to do, too many rude people and too much bad news.

Those days are coming, they always do.

But it doesn’t mean I have to hang onto the bad stuff and linger in the mood.

No, I’m choosing to do the best I can with what comes at me and then moving on.

It’s hard when I get knocked to my knees and I’m gasping to come up for air to see past the storm, but I know that the light is always waiting on the other side.

I’m going to take a deep breath, gather myself and fight through the darkness as best I can.

I know it won’t be easy and I’ll probably keep getting knocked down, but that doesn’t mean I have to stay down.

This is my life and while I can’t control what happens to me, I can control how I react to bad people, things and situations.

So, life, give me your Mondays.

Throw everything bad at me that you want.

I may struggle, I may fall, but I’ll still find a way to get up, muster my courage and keep going.

I’m done being just a survivor, struggling and unhappy.

I’m taking back my life, making the most of the beautiful moments that surround me, and at the same time refusing to wallow in the bad stuff that comes at me.

It’s a new day and with it, new hope.

Maybe every day isn’t beautiful, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find something beautiful in each day.

This is my life and I choose to rise above the ugly and see the joy.

Rain or shine, l’ll find my way, just the way I was always meant to.

My life, my choice.

It’s all up to me…and I’m choosing happiness.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Epiphany.

I woke up, hoping to feel refreshed after a night spent tossing and turning.

It was one of those long nights when I couldn’t turn off my thoughts and my memories wouldn’t give me a moment’s peace.

So, as I opened my eyes, I mustered every bit of optimism about the start of a beautiful day, until my heart whispered the lingering thoughts I hadn’t wanted to keep remembering.

You. Us.

The pain of our split was all too real and felt like just yesterday, though it was actually a couple weeks.

I knew that no matter what I told myself or what I wanted, my heart wasn’t ready to let you go..

Even though my head kept telling me to move on.
That’s one of the hardest places to be…when your head is at war with your heart.

Deep down, I knew what was best for me and what I needed to do, but there was no convincing my heart of that reality.

My emotions weren’t there yet, so I was stuck, all the time, between trying to forget and a heart that wouldn’t let me.

It was a constant montage at night, playing a never ending stream of us…good, bad and ugly, but always us.

I did the best I could and just fought for a few hours sleep, if that, in between the nonstop thinking.

Though, as I sipped my coffee that morning, I noticed that everything hurt just a little less and the sunlight was a little bit bright.

Maybe, I thought, is how it happens.

The more time passes, the less you feel, the less you hurt, the less you remember…one day, it’s all just a distant memory.

I couldn’t help but smile at the possibility of relief.

I knew I’d have to make peace with the past before I could ever really move on, but suddenly, I felt a twinge that I didn’t have before.

Maybe it wasn’t a bold epiphany and maybe it didn’t make anything better instantly, but now, I finally realized that I could do this.

Things would get better, the pain would begin to subside- I’d start to find my way again.

That, for now, would have to be enough.

After all, now, I had something I didn’t have last night and it changed everything..

Something that had been eluding me for far too long: Hope.

And I’ll just keep building on that, all the way to my newfound happiness.

It might take a while, but I knew now I could make my way away from the pain of us.

Step by step and day by day, I’d start to love myself again, and finally, be able to let you go.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Walking Thru Fires Of Life.

I know you feel a little lost lately.

Maybe you don’t know how to break out of the mood that’s weighing you down.

Perhaps you’re having a hard time finding your joy.

You want more, need more, but you don’t know where to start and you apologize too much for wanting to feel alive.

I realize you’ve had to do whatever it took to get you where you are today, but now, perhaps it’s time for you to remember the hopes and dreams you put on hold as life took charge.

The people around you may not see what you do and they’re not always going to understand your dreams and desires to become more and grow.

That’s okay, not everyone has to. Those that truly love you will stand beside you and encourage you in whatever you choose to pursue, and that’s all you need, that, and believing in yourself.

I know you’ve been beaten down, tired and lost a little of yourself along the way, well, it’s time for you to rediscover and redefine the person you’re meant to be.

No more excuses.

Stop the apologies.

Get rid of the procrastination.

You’re a beautiful soul capable of so much love, joy and happiness if you just begin to embrace all of you in a way that you haven’t for such a long time.

You’ve forgotten how to be happy.

You don’t know the way back to yourself.

But that little spark in you has been there all along, just waiting for you to awaken.

Step out in the light, promise yourself to turn the page and rekindle that fire that once burned so brightly inside of you, transform that spark into a roaring wildfire and let it fill your heart and excite your soul.

This is your story and it’s time that you start the chapter where you fall in love with being alive, every day.

You’ve walked through the fires of life.

Now become the flames that made you stronger.

Look up and smile, darling.

You got this.

What are you waiting for?

http://www.prettymessedup.org


Turn The Page.

Darling,

I know life has been hard lately and you feel like you’re drowning at every turn, but keep going.

Lift your head, dig deep and find a way, you always do.

Life may have gotten the best of you for a while, but it doesn’t storm forever.

You’re going to come through this stronger, wiser and better than you’ve ever been before, but first, keep fighting and get through it.

I’m not saying it will be fast or easy, only that it will be worth it.

You’re worth it. I’m fact, you’re worth everything, and it’s time that you started to believe that.

Stop beating yourself for the past and begin believing in your future, because your best days, happiest moments and beautiful love haven’t happened yet…and they will.

I know you’ve been fighting for survival as long as you can remember, but this is where your story starts to change.

Don’t give up on your hopes and dreams before ever really started.

Turn the page.

Start a new chapter.

Believe in yourself, because you’ve got this.

Stop letting the troubles that you face make you doubt yourself.

You’re a beautiful strong soul who is capable of anything, so start by finding that person you’ve lost along the way.

They’re waiting for you to remember them.

You deserve happiness, so keep going and stop surviving and start living.

Do it for yourself.

Do it to feel alive.

Do it to be happy again.

Most of all, just start somewhere, anywhere…then never look back or stop until you end up where you’re meant to be.

Be unstoppable.

http://www.prettymessedup.org

Warrior Eyes.

You think you know who I am, but here’s some truth for you.

You’ve never met a person like me and you never will again.

I don’t talk, walk or act like the others and I don’t want to.

The world has plenty of copies and fakes, I choose to be different, because I will always listen to my heart and march to my own beat.

I’m proudly original and I tackle life with a style and ferocity all my own.

People that don’t understand me will say I’m weird or have an attitude, and that’s what weaker people will think about the brave souls that shine brighter than the rest.

You knew from the moment our eyes met that I had the spirit of a warrior, heart of a lover and soul of a dreamer.

I won’t be denied what I pursue and I don’t know how to quit.

It’s not enough for me to just survive.

I overcome and thrive, “good enough” is something for everyone else.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have hard days or an easy life, I just forged my will out of a courage borne of fire and learned to overcome.

I rise when others fall and I smile through the tears, dance through the rain and keep moving forward.

I don’t accept less than the best and I’ll never be okay with making do.

My heart is restless and my soul is deep.

Loving me isn’t easy, but it’s a glorious adventure and well worth the challenge.

You’ll always know where you stand with me because my voice will always be heard.

Don’t treat me like an option if you want to be a priority, I’m too strong, free and beautiful to chase anyone to be part of my life.

If you can’t love me as an equal and treat me with respect, then you need to look elsewhere.

My passion is fiery and my devotion is fierce. I’ll love you like a firestorm and kiss you like a hurricane.

There’s no such thing as halfway in my world, so if you’re unsure of what you want, then I’m not the one for you.

Sunlight or storm, you can always count on me to stand strong by your side, holding your hand while we embrace the day.

So, if you can keep up with me and have stars in your eyes and adventure in your soul, let’s go chase some forever.

Me, you and our dreams, just the way it was meant to be.

Dreams don’t have deadlines and my love doesn’t come easy.

I’m strong, I’m beautiful and I’ll always be holding your hand, let’s go find something wonderful together…If you’re strong enough to keep up with me.


http://www.prettymessedup.org

Misery Than Joy.

She sat down, and buried her face in her hands, fighting back tears, because she knew what she had to do, and it hurt worse than almost anything she could ever remember.

She loved him and had for so very long, but she had come to realize that sometimes, love alone just isn’t enough.

They had been through so much together, all the ups and downs that life can throw at you, so her heart was heavy with conflict.

It whispered to hold on, keep trying, but she was too far gone.

The joy of their love had long since faded and she couldn’t even remember why they were fighting to stay together, but she remembered the fights all too well.

His mean words and spiteful actions in the heat of the moment had taken a toll on her and she finally admitted the truth she had resisted for too long: She wasn’t happy anymore, and no amount of communication, effort and date nights could mend her heart that he had torn apart, piece by piece.

She knew he would never understand and that he would blame her with cold words and even hateful names, but she was resolute.

She’d always love him, but she was going to find her own way now, without him.

She couldn’t fix him, save him or change him, and she shouldn’t have had to, she knew it wouldn’t be easy, she’d miss him and it would hurt, but it was more important for her to be happy than to stay in a relationship that was more misery than joy.

It’s scary to take the first steps alone when you haven’t been by yourself in such a long time, but there was a sense of relief in her choice to step away.

Her heart, though conflicted, began to feel lighter. She noticed a feeling of a burden beginning to be lifted, and that’s when it all changed.

Her soul started to find the happiness again and her sense of self appreciation began to return.
It would be a long and arduous road, but she was finally ready.

Maybe she’d stumble a time or two and maybe even shed a few tears along the way, but she was finally free to love herself and choose what mattered most every day: Herself and her happiness.

She’d been through the rain, now it was time for her rainbow, and she couldn’t help but smile.

She deserved everything, starting with her new self…beautiful, strong and free.


http://www.carlaspersonallife.wordpress.com

Always Darkest Before Dawn.

Oh, my darling, I know you’ve had a tough time lately.

Things haven’t gone to plan and there’s been a lot of storms clouding your horizon, but don’t you dare stop believing in your power and that good things meant for you are on their way.

I know it seems like there’s always some problem or another crisis brewing, but remember, it’s always darkest before dawn.

You’ve had a hard journey and there’s been a lot of bumps and bruises along the way.

That doesn’t make you damaged goods or mean that you’re less than because of the dents and scratches that have hurt you, scars mean you’ve lived and that you’ve never given up, no matter how hard the journey.

Those bruises that you think make you less worthy are the beautiful parts of you that makes you unique.
Your friends and loved ones have always accepted and appreciated you for everything that you are, and always will.

So, when you look in the mirror and lament the things about yourself that you think are ugly, know that someone, somewhere, would give everything to have your blessings.

You’re not a survivor, you’re a warrior.

Maybe you’ve lost your way and stopped believing in yourself, but this is your time to change that.

Pick up the pen, turn the page and start a new story.

The only failure you’ll face is the one you’ll see if you stop trying, stop moving forward and giving your all.
Never forget just how beautiful you are, just the way you are.

Scratches, dents and jagged edges make you one of a kind, so stop focusing on the things that you worry make you damaged.

You’re not.

Every wrong turn, each bad choice and broken heart has made you into the person that is stronger, wiser and more beautiful.

Maybe your life won’t always be rainbows and sunshine, but I’m here to tell you that you got this.

Start believing in your power and know that you’re more than enough, you’re amazing.

Now get out there and sprinkle bits of your awesomeness wherever you go.

Turn the page, shine brighter, laugh a little more, but whatever you do, don’t stop pushing forward.

Great things are waiting for you, just around the corner.


http://www.carlaspersonallife.wordpress.com

Strong Is The New Pretty.

She hasn’t had the easiest life, in fact, it has often brought her to her knees.

While the people she meets would marvel at her strength, they don’t know the struggles she’s endured to become the woman she is today.

Yes, she’s found a way to dig deep and rise above the fire that once threatened to tear her apart.

She still cries in the shower sometimes and fights to keep it together, but she knows what it takes now to keep moving forward.

There’s still days that she battles just to keep a smile on her face, but she’s become used to that…she’s a fighter.

She’s walked through the fire, risen from the ashes and did what she had to do to survive the hard times, and she doesn’t regret any of it.

She learned from the toughest challenges what it takes to do more than simply survive…she wants to thrive and be happy, most of all.

She is done living day to day and heartbreak to heartache.

She’s determined to thrive, rise above and find her wings again.

She’s not a princess, a damsel in distress or a starry eyed girl in search of love.

She’s turned her pain into power and transformed herself into a queen…never settling, accepting no excuses and no longer allowing anyone to mistreat or disrespect her.

She’ll admit that she doesn’t have all the answers and she doesn’t always know what her days will bring, and she’s more than okay with that.

She’s gritty, courageous and full of zeal.

Maybe she falls and stumbles, perhaps she takes some wrong turns and makes some bad decisions.
She owns her mistakes and appreciates life in the small moments of beauty that she sees.

To her, strong is the new pretty and she’s not out to impress or win anyone’s approval.

She’s happy living her best life and spreading sparkle, love and sass wherever she goes.
Oh, and one more thing…when they try to call her “princess”, “hot”, or “sweetheart,” she’ll just smile at them and remind them in the most charming way she knows how.

“I think you’re mispronouncing queen, darling.”
And with a smile and a wink, they realize that she’s one of a kind.

Queens aren’t born, they’re made.

With her crown forged in the fire, she was made to be great.

http://www.carlaspersonallife.wordpress.com

Hugs From Behind.

There’s just something special about when I wrap my arms around you from behind, a myriad of feelings sweep over me that words fail to convey.

The warmth of your body pressed to mine, our hearts beating in unison..well, that’s just the start.
Perhaps it’s all the things that your embrace tells me without saying a word.

Your arms tell me that you’re there for me, through good times and bad, no matter what comes our way.

I just feel safe in those moments when I’m engrossed in you, your touch and scent seemingly make the world melt away as I drift off into all that is you.

You immersed into me, nuzzling me with delicate kisses as if the promises of your love are woven into each sweet touch.

The feeling of being completely lost in you is an experience unlike any other.

Your arms wrapped tightly about me, your skin pressed to mine, those are the moments that I’ll always treasure.

It’s those times when the serenity of the starry night has breathed its last gasp into the fading day that our love is limitless.

Two souls, unified into a singular consciousness that eclipses the realm of the ordinary, that is us in those moments.

Hugs from behind.

Something so simple that can set your soul on fire, make your heart race, yet all the while soothing your spirit and calming your mind.

That’s something I want from you…For the rest of our lives.

http://www.carlaspersonallife.wordpress.com

A World That Never Fit Me.

I could never really figure out why I was so unhappy when everyone around me seemed so happy doing all the things with all the same people in all the same ways.

The more I tried to fit in, the more miserable I became.

So, instead of trying to blend in, make everyone else happy and be what the world thought I should be, I decided to start making myself happy and stop worrying what anyone else thought.
That’s when the miraculous feeling of peace started to come over me, with each step of my new journey…I started to get a little happier.

I wore what I wanted to wear, I ate, did and lived in the way I should have all along, and it was the most amazing sense of freedom I have ever experienced.

Sure, there’s people who don’t get me or approve of how I choose to live my life,

But then, they don’t have to.

They haven’t walked in my shoes and seen my struggles to know why I choose this.

What matters is learning to love myself, evolving my mindset and stepping out of the labels and boxes the world tried to fit me in. Maybe I don’t always know where I’m going or even how I’ll get through my day, but that’s the beauty of life.
Living in the moment, learning through the journey and getting stronger, wiser and better.
Maybe I’ll stumble and fall, but I’ll keep getting up and dusting myself off.

I’m not perfect and I don’t want to be.
That’s for the movies and people that like to pretend.

Give me the real, authentic and gritty version of life, there’s nothing else quite like it.

It’s my life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

http://www.carlaspersonallife.wordpress.com

Warrior Queen.

She’s always had to fight for everything, she was never given anything in her life…not even a chance.

She was forced to scrap, claw and battle for everyone and everything she always wanted, and more times than not, it broke her.

In fact, she often felt like she spent her time constantly healing, rebuilding and growing stronger.

She’d look around and see how others were given opportunities and sometimes, it made her envious and a little sad that she, too, wasn’t given anything like that.

Why wasn’t her path easier like the others? But life had bigger plans for her, a future that she could never have imagined.

The most beautiful things in life aren’t always given, they’re earned.

Her dreams were big and her spirit was fierce, and that’s exactly why she was never handed the easy stuff.

She needed to first forge her strength and courage in the flames of struggle, so that’s just what she did, though she never knew what lie in store for her, only that she wanted and needed more from her life than mediocre and average.

Her passion didn’t allow her to do anything half way, and when she loved, she poured every bit of her heart into someone, leading to oft broken hearts and lost friendships, because not everyone understood her intense passion, and they didn’t have to.

She was never looking to be saved, she was determined to build herself a life and a fire that no one could ever vanquish.

She became all the things she needed to realize her aspirations: Fighter, survivor, loyal friend, confidant, lover, dreamer.

She had a vision of what she wanted her life to become and who she wanted to be, and she pursued that relentlessly.

No excuses, no quitting and most of all, she never stopped believing.

So, if you ever see her someday, you’ll see a strong, proud woman who has earned everything she has achieved.

Don’t mistake her warm kindness for weakness, for underneath the genuinely benevolent facade beats the heart of a warrior queen: Strong, brave and fearless.

And she’ll always find a way to get it all done, every day…for this amazing woman is more than just a beautiful soul, she wears her courage as a crown, because she is and always will be a queen.

http://www.carlaspersonallife.wordpress.com

Fly Darling.

Darling,

I know you’ve been stuck doing the same things in the same way for as long as you can remember, and you’re not happy.

You’ve been doing everything you can just to survive and keep going.

You’re exhausted. More than that, your body aches and your soul is weary.

There comes a time when you have to realize that something has to change.

Whether it’s you, your life, your routine…something.

You’ll find, though, if you start with changing yourself, the rest of your life will fall in line.

Will it be easy? Absolutely not.

Will you always know what to do next? Probably not.

Will you still have bad days? Yes, you will.

There are no guarantees that you’re going to change as fast as you want or that it won’t scare you to death, because it will, more than likely.

But won’t it scare you more to live the rest of your days and never try to become more? Stop thinking about what could go wrong and start imagining the possibilities.

Change doesn’t have to be major or overnight, it can be small things in small ways that start to add up: Go back to school and learn something new you enjoy.

Change your style or hair.

Take that trip, eat the cake, start working out.

There’s opportunities all around you, just waiting for you to embrace a better you.

Don’t complain about your life if you’re not willing to step up and do something about it.

Take a deep breath.

This is your sign, your wake up call.

We aren’t promised tomorrow, so start somewhere today.

It’s okay to be scared and unsure.

That reminds you that you’re alive.

Stop putting off the things you’ve always wanted to do and start building a new life, brick by brick.
Be open enough to embrace change, brave enough to start, and courageous enough to chase it.

Today’s a new day and a beautiful chapter.

Start writing the life you’ve always wished you had.

You aren’t defined by where you’ve been or what’s happened to you.

You can’t change the beginning, but you can change the rest.

This is your chance.

Fly, darling…your wings are waiting.

http://www.carlaspersonallife.wordpress.com

I’m Worthy.

I used to listen to all the opinions of everyone I crossed path with.

Of who I was, what I should be and even what I should wear.

I tried and tried to fit into all the boxes that I thought would make everyone love me.

And the funny thing is, it was never enough.
Every change I made just led to more criticisms and even more opinions.

Trying to fit in was a never ending battle for approval and acceptance that I realized I could never win.

They liked to point out my flaws and imperfections, highlighting all the things I didn’t like about myself.

At the end of the day, I was unhappy, unfulfilled and a nervous wreck.

I realized that I’d either spend my life trying to please people that I didn’t really care about in ways that didn’t matter for reasons that didn’t make sense.

My people, the ones who always love me, they accepted me just the way I was, scars, scratches and flaws.

They showed me that chasing the attention and affection of the people that pretended to be perfect would be a never ending struggle, that I would never be happy trying to be something I wasn’t to please the world that would never accept me as I was.

So, I did what was long overdue…I stopped living for everyone else and starting living for myself.

I had spent so many years defining myself by others that I really didn’t know who I was anymore.

It’s a hard place to start on a journey without a map, but I knew that’s what needed to happen if I were ever to be truly happy.

I had to find my joy and learn to love myself for all the things the world said I should be ashamed of.

The scars, the bumps and bruises that made me who I am weren’t the bad parts of me, just the opposite.

I’m finally understanding those are the things about me that I should celebrate, for they have made me unique in a way that an easy life never would have.

So, yes, I’ve made mistakes, fallen down and chose to love the wrong people, but I’m growing, I’m learning and I’m finally starting to love all of myself, even the parts that everyone said I should hide.

I’m flawsome, I’m a mess sometimes and I may not know where I’ll be tomorrow, and I’m okay with that.

I’m living my life the way I choose in the manner I want, and no one can take that away from me.

It won’t be easy or painless, but I’m owning my experiences and finally listening to my heart.
It took me a long time, but I know now what I never did before.

I’m worth it, I’m awesome and I deserve to be happy…in just the way I want.

http://www.carlaspersonallife.wordpress.com

Phoenix Rising.

She’d always known she was meant for more than the life she’d settled for.

Her choices, her mistakes and her dead end roads always weighed heavily on her, and she couldn’t seem to shake the guilt and remorse that plagued her.

But, as she knelt, struggling to keep it together at rock bottom, she came to the crossroads of her choices, to continue doing what she had always done and be content with the results, or she could choose to be more, do more, embrace change and everything that came with it.

She was scared to death as she stared into the uncertainty, but she realized that she was more afraid of continuing to live without purpose.
In those moments, she chose.

She set fire to the people, the things and the memories that were weighing her down and
holding her back.

She didn’t know what tomorrow would bring or where her path might take her, but she knew she couldn’t keep going the way she had been…struggling, heavy and weary, she needed more…so, she did just that.

She chose to become more.

She knew it wouldn’t be easy and that fighting to evolve herself and her life would be the hardest thing she had ever done, but her life and her happiness was worth any price. So she stepped out of the ashes of a broken life and into the person she was meant to become.

Slowly, surely and steadily, she began to embrace the heart and soul of a woman destined to rise again.

In those moments, she was coming alive, rising again and beginning to believe.

Most of all, she was born again from the fires that once consumed her whole.

Phoenix rising, evermore.

http://www.carlaspersonallife.wordpress.com

Be Kind To One Another.

In this world today, let’s not put people in a box. Let’s not separate each other by, color, race, religion, gender, addiction, mental health issues or sexuality and economic status. We all have life flowing through our bodies. We all feel pain (can be different for everyone) be we all feel it. We feel those judgmental words crushing our souls. Be kind to everyone and take 2 seconds to put behind you what you believe about that person or their beliefs. Look at that person as if it was you sitting there! Much love 🌹❤️

http://www.carlaspersonallife.wordpress.com

Living For Myself Again.

I told myself I would move on and stop giving you chances, because you took every opportunity and found more ways to break my heart just a little bit more each time.

I used to think you didn’t mean to be the way you were to me, but as more time passed, I realized that sadly, you meant all the mean things you said and how poorly you treated me, and I’m not okay with that.

When you love someone, you should always put their needs before your own, and that’s something you never did.

If it wasn’t about you, you weren’t interested and that just makes me sad.

Sad for you, more than anything, because I don’t think you’ll ever know how beautiful love can truly be when you put someone else first.

You would make excuses and rationalize everything you said or did, and now, your words just fall on my dear ears.

I know that we aren’t meant to be and I’ve known it for some time, but my heart is battling my head and it’s a fierce competition.

I know what’s best for me and that’s to part ways, but my heart keeps whispering to try again.
I just can’t.

I’ve given so much of myself, my time and my heart to you that I just don’t have anything left, you almost destroyed me.

I need to start living for myself again, because my time with you has slowly shredded my heart and soul into little pieces.

Every day, I find that the thought of leaving you hurts a little less, and I know, deep down, there will come a day very soon that I don’t have any more feelings left for you.

It’s hard leaving behind a life with someone you’ve led for so long, but I have to make a choice to find my way back to myself and happiness, because I’ll never find that with you.

I used to dream of a life with you, but you never seemed to care like I did, and now I know it’s because you’re not ready for real and lasting love.

So, I’m taking my emotional baggage and going my own way. And I know you’ll blame it all on me and my selfishness, and that’s fine.

I don’t owe you an explanation and I don’t care anymore what you think, because it’s a broken record of blame, anger and finger pointing, just never at yourself.

So, you can keep your negativity, hate and irrational behavior, I’m leaving you and all that in my past.

Maybe I’ll struggle, maybe I’ll fall.

But at least I’ll do it for myself, and that, for now, makes me happy.

Finally free to make my own choices and live my own life.

I can’t wait to find my joy again, just the way I’ve always deserved.

http://www.carlaspersonallife.wordpress.com

Strong Is The New Pretty.

All my life, everyone told me how pretty I looked or how nice my appearance was.

I know they meant well, thinking they were paying me a genuine compliment, but that’s not who I am.

Sure, I like to take care of myself, but how I look doesn’t define me.

Not even close.

Who I am has nothing to do with how pretty my face is or how attractive I am.

I’m much more than looks, curves or makeup.

I’m strong, beautiful and passionate and my best qualities aren’t the ones the world likes to fixate on.

I’m not trying to impress anyone or dress up to be arm candy.

So, all the people that are trying to judge me for how I look or what I’m wearing, they’re never going to be my people.

The ones close to my heart care about the things that really matter: My soul, my heart and my mind.

Any man that comes knocking on my door thinking that my face is the most important thing, well, he can find another door.

I’m not interested in superficial, fake or pretend friends that don’t have my best interests at heart.

Give me the passionate, strong willed and deep people every time….that’s who I belong with, not the rest of these folks concerned with who looks beautiful wearing what outfit.

You can keep your glamor, your glitz and your pretty.

I’m real, authentic and genuine.

I’m exactly what I set out to be all along.

After all, in my world…strong is the new pretty.

http://www.carlaspersonallife.wordpress.com

Sunshine Comes To All Those Who Braved The Rain.

I know you’ve been trying so hard lately and nothing seems to be going right for you.

It feels like everything that can go wrong seems to fall apart all at once.

Take a deep breath and step back.

You’ve been beating yourself up, being upset and asking why for so long, you’ve gotten used to being let down and disappointed.

It’s time to stop worrying, being down and letting the world walk all over you.

Yes, you’ve had some bad things happen.

I know you’ve had your heart broken.

I get that you’ve made some bad choices and been down the wrong roads.

Those things, your past doesn’t define you.

You’ve asked all the questions before about why things keep happening.

Now, it’s time to turn the page, start a new chapter and decide to take a different path.

You can’t embrace the possibilities of a new day if your hands are full of the old baggage.

Let it go.

Clear your mind.

Step away from the hustle and bustle for a moment.

Cry if you need to.

Whatever you need to begin to heal and let go of the painful past, do that.

It won’t happen overnight and it may not be easy,
but it’s worth it.

You’re worth it.

Yes, it may be raining but it doesn’t storm forever.
I’m not telling you to try to dance in the rain or any of that fairy tale advice, I’m saying to stand strong and hold on.

There’s always sunshine on the other side of the bad stuff. But you have to open your eyes, release your guilt and be willing to find your joy.

The happier you become, the easier it gets to stay happy.

Find yourself, find your reasons and find your happy place.

Whatever it is in this life that makes you happy, do that.

Keep doing that.

One day, you’ll look up and realize that the storms have passed and you made it.

That’s where your next chapter begins.
You’re brave, you’re strong and most of all, you got this.

Keep going.

Your sunshine is waiting for you.

http://www.carlaspersonallife.wordpress.com